This past week we discussed several different family dynamics that both help and hinder family developments. We touched on conflict theory and how it can help develop positive and negative relationship characteristics. We discussed how the white picket fence principle, that describes how outward expressions of an individual family (i.e. how they live, how they decorate their home inside and out etc.) can demonstrate how that family is functioning, or not functioning for that matter. We also discussed how like in society, families consist and operate with a list of unspoken rules, Rules that will be followed, but in order to follow them, you typically have to learn them the hard way through trial and error. 

One of the things I found interesting was how conflict can be used to enhance and progress a relationship if it is carried out in the right manner. For instance, the use of violence in a relationship is NOT a healthy conflict management style, but rather destroys on so many levels and its destruction is not limited to the two people involved. The impacts can and will resonate throughout the family in a very toxic way. However, when it comes to conflict in relationships, if it is carried out with the respect it deserves, can help the relationship progress because it establishes safe boundaries within the relationship there by establishing trust for both parties. It allows those both parties to express themselves and fight (in a healthy way) for the things that they value within the relationship. Frustrations are not meant to be bottled up. I have heard many stories about how people never fight in a relationship. This is not a good sign. Once that type of relationship gets to the point where a fight does happen, and it will, the fight tends to be like a volcano, erupting months or even years’ worth of frustrations all at once which can easily lead to a termination of said relationship.

Something else I found interesting was the topic of the Picket Fence Principle. Often times when we drive through a neighborhood, we see lots of things we both like and dislike. The example was given in class how some houses would have a cinder block wall that surrounded a home with barbed wire on top and a steel gate with a padlock on it. How another house might have no fence at all but with random walking trails throughout the yard. And then the house with the picket fence. All of the houses illustrate how a family’s personality will be reflected in how they decorate, or design their house. For instance, the house with the large wall and steel gate would be an indicator of a family that is very closed off from its neighbors and therefor society as well. It does not promote a very healthy image of how that family might or might not function. The house with no fence and no discernible walkway to the house would be an indicator of how that family does not really have healthy boundaries, or possible a lack of structure in the family. The picket fence of course is a cliché. But none the less, it illustrates the rules of that family. Rules that draw a line of what is and what isn't acceptable. For instance, a picket fence is typically low enough for neighbors to speak to one another over, and yet high enough to be difficult in straddling. The have pointy tips that display their intent of keeping intruders out. This yard displays to the neighborhood that this family consists of healthy boundaries and structure and the likelihood that the house is inhabited by Mormons.